Photo by javad allahyari on Unsplash

Long ago, I desperately wanted a specific person to acknowledge her role in a difficult experience from my past.

But she wouldn’t.

And when she finally made an attempt to hear me, she felt like I was blaming her.

Except I wasn’t.

I thought feeling heard would help me heal and move on.

Eventually, though, I began to understand that this person was incapable of hearing me because her own pain was in the way.

Somehow, in realizing this, I was able to release her from my belief that I needed her acknowledgement in order to heal.

I realized I had to hear myself.

So I acknowledged my pain.

I felt my grief.

Then I released it and moved on.

I was amazed at how quickly I healed once I understood that my healing wasn’t dependent on another person.

What pain are you holding in your heart that is related to another person?

What story do you wish they could hear?

What if what you really need is to hear yourself and acknowledge your pain?

What if you could move through the pain quickly?

What if you could be done with it today?

P.S. The flip side of this is that when most people are upset all they really need to heal and move on is to feel heard. Sometimes emotional wounds require more processing than that, but the act of truly listening to someone, without agenda, can go a long way in helping the other person move through their pain instead of getting stuck in it.