Your new love is leaning in for a kiss and your heart is ready to rocket to the moon.
But just as things heat up, you notice…
…your lips are cracked like the back of a lizard
…your breath smells like last night’s onion soup
…and your wife/husband/partner is in the other room patiently waiting for your arrival.
So you panic because you want this kiss. You need it. You crave it. Breath be damned.
But you don’t want to be unfaithful (or maybe you don’t care).
And then, just as you succumb to your desires…you wake up.
Dreams of Romance (and Cheating)
What dream is more fulfilling than a dream of romance? Especially around Valentine’s Day.
Yet dreams of romance (and cheating) are packed full of meaning that can help you assess how well you’re navigating your purpose and path in life.
Dreaming You’re Engaged in Romance and Loving It
This dream might be a sign that you’re engaged in a waking life activity that you love and that is perfectly suited to your purpose and desires. You might think of this dream as an A-Ok from your highest self or the Universe. (Or it could be encouraging you to add a little more love to your life.)
Dreaming You’re Engaged in Romance and You’re Just Not Into It
In waking life, you might be intimately engaged in an activity that isn’t suited to your purpose and desires.
Like when you start out happily helping someone for free, but then realize you’d rather be paid, and you start to feel resentful.
Or when someone is asking for your support and you’re feeling more like, “Uh, no thanks.” But you feel like maybe you should do it anyway.
Dreaming of being in a romance that doesn’t suit you might be a sign that it’s time to reassess your “love affair” with what’s happening in all areas of your life.
Are you in or are you out? Make a decision and move on.
Cheating as a Metaphor for Growing Pains
There are two versions of this dream. One is cheating and feeling awesome (or neutral). The other is cheating and feeling guilty.
Cheating and Feeling Awesome
In the former, you’re enjoying the dream romance even though you already have a partner, and you are either neutral about this or show no signs of guilt. This dream may be a positive sign that in waking life you are branching out and engaging in new, exciting activities. These activities are not necessarily conflicting with your current situation, but may require some reflections.
Like when you finally decide to set aside time to write your book from 8-10 am every morning, even though you normally work those hours. It might feel a little like having an affair, but you love what you’re doing, you feel in integrity, and it’s ok!
Or another example: you’re a fundamentalist Christian who just came out of the closet as a gay guy. You’re feeling pretty good about it because you can finally be yourself, even if it goes against the beliefs of your religious community.
Cheating with Guilt
Then there’s the “cheating with guilt” version. In the dream you have an intimate connection with someone. You feel guilty because you’re married or partnered. However, the romance is soooo good, and you don’t know how to reconcile your situation.
This dream may be letting you know that there is a conflict in waking life between something you’ve been doing and something you long to do, or have been doing on the side. Like if you have a career you enjoy, yet you suddenly LOVE the idea of creating a business with essential oils. You feel conflicted because you “should” be focusing on your career.
Or you were raised as a fundamentalist Christian and you’re beginning to realize you’re gay. The conflict between your religious beliefs and who you are at your core is causing you to feel like you’re cheating on your religion. This can cause you to feel extreme guilt because you don’t know how to reconcile the situation.
These situations are similar to having an affair while in a perfectly good relationship. You don’t know what to do because your current relationship is strong and stable while the new one is exciting and full of possibility. Leaving the familiar in order to embrace something new is a risk. You might end up destroying something that was working and replacing it with something relatively unknown that initially looks awesome, but ultimately isn’t. It’s hard to know which choice to make and you might feel torn, thus the dream.
If your dream self experiences betrayal because someone is cheating on you it is unlikely to be an indication of a waking life reality. Instead, it could be about a betrayal of one part of you by another part of you.
For instance, if you are a woman and you dream your husband cheats on you with another woman, your masculine side could be betraying your feminine side. Your masculine side is the part of you that takes action and protects. Your feminine side is the part that uses intuition and works with emotions. In order to create a life of health and wellbeing, you need both. If one aspect is betraying the other there will be an imbalance and feelings of self-betrayal, as revealed in the dream.
Moving Forward after Dreams of Romance and Cheating
All dreams are multi-layered, and dreams of romance and cheating can have many layers of meaning I did not cover here.
However, whenever you have one of these dreams, it would be useful to reflect on your waking life situation. Look to see if you have a new belief, idea, thing, or experience that would be a welcome addition to your life. If so, keep doing it.
Notice, though, if you are feeling guilty about a new experience or core aspect of your identity that longs to be expressed. It might be causing you grief or a sense of betrayal. You may need to do some self-reflecting or soul healing so you can make a conscious choice about how you want to move forward.
And Happy Almost Valentine’s Day!