Below is a list of ideas that might help you incorporate free time into your schedule so you can actually do the things on your list. I am particularly fond of the first two ideas. They work well for me, and help me stay balanced, especially when I’m busy working on a big project.

Be sure to leave a comment, sharing with us how you make time for yourself.

Have Designated Time for Your Work

If you already know how to recharge your mind-body-soul, but have a hard time making the time to do it, tune in next week when I share some of my secret techniques for setting boundaries with clients and my self.

When you are self-employed there is no 9-5 schedule. You might work 9 to midnight. Or not at all.

Unfortunately, your clients do not have the same expectations you have about your “off” hours. In fact, they may not even think you have “off hours.” (I’ve had clients call me on my home phone after 8:00 pm on Sunday to take care of business that could easily have waited until Monday.)

For this reason, I no longer use my cell or home phone number for business. I use a Google Voice number to help me set normal office hours. The phone system can be programmed to do all sorts of useful things. If you want all calls to go into voice mail after 6:00 pm or on weekends, you can do so. If you want client calls to go directly into voice mail, but your family and friends’ calls to ring through, you can do this too.

Additionally, it will transcribe all voice mails and email them to you so you don’t have to check voice mail. The transcriptions are usually awful, but at least you can get general idea of their contents.

Set Office Hours and Make them Obvious

I have designated hours when I meet with clients, and I don’t start my first meeting until 11:00 am. When necessary, I can be flexible, but I prefer to get settled into my day before I talk with anyone. I find I can be more present with my clients if I have time every morning to care for myself.

You may have similar needs. Perhaps you prefer to work with clients in the morning and by yourself in the afternoon. Or work Tuesday – Thursday with clients, and the rest of the week by yourself. Experiment until you find what works best for you and stick to it.

Schedule Time for Yourself During the Work Week

A minister friend of mine keeps a paper calendar that is often visible to other people. When a parishioner asks to make an appointment they can see every meeting the minister has scheduled.

If the minister has a lot of empty space in his calendar the parishioner is likely to assume the minister is available. People don’t naturally understand his need to have time to himself, so instead of trying to explain to the parishioners that the “left over” time slots are for paperwork and personal time, the minister fills in the “empty” spots with “appointments.” For his personal time he uses a made up name like Joe. When a parishioner sees the calendar it looks full, but much of what is scheduled is quiet time for the minister to get his work done. This system has helped him create boundaries and a healthy ministry.

Have a Teddy Bear Named “Someone”

Service providers don’t like to lie, and as I mentioned above, people don’t always understand your need for alone time. I once read about a church that had a teddy bear named “Someone.” The teddy bear sat on a chair in the minister’s office. If the minister needed time to herself, and a parishioner called to speak with her, the receptionist could honestly say, “I’m sorry. Rev. Johnson is meeting with Someone. Can I take a message?”

Designate One Day as Your Personal Sabbath

Pick one day of the week and keep it sacred. Do whatever you find meaningful, but don’t work.

In last week’s ezine I talked about making three lists of activities that help you feel renewed. On the Sabbath day of your choice, I suggest doing something from the first or second list. For instance, yesterday I read most of the day. Today I feel completely invigorated and ready for a full week of work.

I’m driving and my gas tank is on empty.

I have two options:

1) I can get gas now, and risk being late for my destination, or

2) I can go to my meeting and get gas later, but I risk running out of gas and getting stranded.

I decide to get gas and risk being late.

When I woke, I realized my dream was telling me to refuel – now.

As self-employed people it’s up to us to determine when and how to “refuel” or care for our personal needs.

This can be challenging, though. When there is work to be done, we have to do it. When there is a deadline, we may need to work long hours to ensure everything gets done on time.

There is no mandatory 15-minute break every 4 hours, or a required 30-minute lunch break. There is no paid “vacation” time or “sick” pay, either.

On top of this, many services providers are naturally inclined to help others before they help themselves. I even have clients and colleagues who have a hard time declining coffee dates with friends because they feel guilty putting their personal needs first.

There are typically three scenarios in which we forget to care for our own needs:

1) When there is a deadline and a lot of work to be done

2) When there is perceived external “pressure” to participate in an activity or accept an invitation

3) When others need our help

But ignoring the need to refuel is a dangerous game. So how do we do care for our needs consistently?

Here are some useful steps to consider when creating a self-care practice:

Know What Helps You Recharge

I suggest making three lists of activities that help you recharge. (“activities” can include resting.)

List One: Bare Essentials

The first is a “bare minimums” list with little things you can do throughout the day to help you maintain peace of mind, especially when you are so busy you barely have time to breathe.

This list might include:

1) Getting enough sleep

2) Drinking water

3) Eating well

4) Listening to calming music

5) Burning a candle to create sacred space

6) Having flowers on your desk

7) Feeling connected to a higher purpose

Praying for guidance

9) Singing while working

10) Setting an intention for all projects and interactions go smoothly

List Two: Time for Yourself

The second list consists of activities that require more time, but not a major commitment. Sometimes 5 minutes here or there is enough. This could be

1) Reading an engrossing novel

2) Sitting in a hot tub

3) Daily walks and/or exercise

4) Journaling

5) Gardening

6) Meditating

7) Watching a movie

Being alone and resting

9) Laughing with friends

10) Going out to dinner

11) Creating art

List Three: Time Away

The third list contains activities that require planning or a bigger commitment, like going on vacation. You might only do this once a year, but it can have a lasting impact on your wellbeing.

1) Weekend getaway to a spa

2) Camping in the mountains

3) Swimming in the ocean or a local pool

4) Hiking in the woods

5) Visiting family and friends

6) Exploring new places

Integrating these 3 levels of practices into your life can help you maintain wellbeing. You won’t always be able to take off for the weekend, but you need to find time to do little things like sip tea or drink a glass of water. Even though they seem inconsequential, these little things can add up to a healthier, happier you.

If you already know how to recharge your mind-body-soul, but have a hard time making the time to do it, tune in next week when I share some of my secret techniques for setting boundaries with clients and my self.

It all takes place in a 5000 year old mound of earth that’s about 250 feet in diameter and 40 feet tall. It’s a burial mound called Newgrange, and it sits on top of a hill in the middle of green pastures. In this mound is an inner chamber that is dark as night. A long time ago, it was a sacred temple where ancient people placed the ashes of their deceased loved ones.

But the most remarkable part of Newgrange is what happens on Solstice morning. The ancient architects designed a special entrance to this tomb – a small two foot square opening, about eight feet off the ground – that is perfectly aligned with the rising Solstice sun.

When morning dawns on December 21, light slowly enters the front entrance, illuminating the narrow 80 foot passage into the inner chamber. As the sun climbs in the sky, the inner chamber is fully illuminated leaving no shadow, nor trace of darkness. It doesn’t last long, this illumination, but the effect it has on the soul lasts a lifetime.

This past September, I went inside Newgrange, and although I was not able to be present for the actual event, our tour guide demonstrated the process using artificial lighting. Still, it was breathtaking.

The sunlight filters in through the little window above the main entrance.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes my life feels like that: a tomb of darkness in which the ashes of my former self lay buried, while my dreams sit unrealized, waiting for a glimmer of hope.

In that moment, when all seems darkest and life is more like death, the best thing to do is be still and leave one small opening in our hearts so the light can find its way in. We don’t even have to struggle through the darkness; only know that light will always return, and that we will be illuminated, too.

There are many people who struggle with how to grow the next phase of their lives, especially their lifework. If this is you, and if your inner days are dark as night, may you know that light is always near.

Be still. Be silent. And keep a small part of your heart open so you can receive illumination when the sun finally shines.

Needless to say, I had very little money and no idea how I was going to make any. While I was pondering this problem, someone knocked at my front door. In my experience, there’s only one reason why people come calling at 7:00 at night and that’s to get money.

Reluctantly, I answered the door and that’s exactly what happened. A young man was selling newspaper subscriptions to earn money for college. I am always suspicious of this sort of solicitor; I had no intention of giving this guy my money, especially since I don’t read newspapers and I needed the money myself.

But then I heard a Voice in my head, clear as day. It said, “Give him $20.”

What? I yelled in my head. Are you kidding me? I barely have enough money for myself. Why should I give this guy 20 bucks?

The answer I heard surprised me.

It’s not for him, said the Voice. It’s for you.

None of this made any sense to me, at least not logically. How could giving $20 to someone help me?

So there I was, looking at this young man while the two of us stood in my doorway, and all the time I’m having an internal conversation with the Voice of what I’ve come to know as God. And I wasn’t exactly happy with what I was hearing.

But I’m not one to argue with God, especially when the Voice is so clear. I fumbled around for my check book, wrote a check and then sent the kid off with a third of the money I had to my name.

A wave of panic, anger and resentment set in, momentarily. Soon, however, I was overcome by love and peace.

I’ve learned to trust that Voice, to surrender to it, even when it doesn’t make logical sense. That Voice has helped me through all sorts of crazy situations. And on that day it did not let me down.

Shortly after giving away the $20, I had a financial windfall. The message was very clear to me: to have abundance, cause someone else to have abundance. Give and you shall receive.

I also realized that giving money is a demonstration of gratitude. It is a way of saying to Source — whatever you call it — Thank you for giving to me. I trust that there is enough to go around, that I can give freely knowing more will come to me. Thank you for the abundance of life everywhere I look. In gratitude for receiving this abundance, I want to help someone else have it. I give this gift lovingly and from my heart, freely and with no expectation of return.

Our lives are a direct reflection of the essence of our being, or who we are and how we live. If we live in gratitude by giving freely and from the heart, we will receive the same. It’s a universal truth understood by most spiritual traditions as:

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Giving money to make money can seem counterintuitive, but the fastest way to have what you want is to “be” it. If you want abundance, be abundance. The easiest way to “be” abundance is to cause someone else to have abundance.

In other words, be the Source of that which you seek to have.This sort of giving is a form of gratitude that works miracles, especially when done without the expectation of getting something back.

But the truth is, when we give freely, we are always granted the opportunity to receive as well.

So in honor of Thanksgiving I’d like to thank you for taking this lifework journey with me.

I invite us all to be grateful to be alive. To be great-full – or full of greatness — and remember that if you want to grow somewhere great, the best way to do it is to help someone else grow somewhere great, too.

It’s one of those stories that opens the hearts of people everywhere, a story that spreads love from the four corners of the earth and brings out people’s greatness.

As I contemplate the loving kindness exhibited in the celebration of Noah’s life, a question churns in my mind: why don’t we do this everyday, with everyone we meet? What if we didn’t wait until near death to honor a person’s life, but did so in each moment?

Of course, it’s relatively easy to do this with people we love. Taking a moment to show gratitude is a great way to thank someone for shining their light on our lives.

But, what about those people who aren’t so easy to love? Can we learn to open our hearts and send them love, too?

For instance, when someone does something we perceive as “horrible” what if we see their behavior as a sort of cancer that is disguising the beautiful soul that dwells within? And what if instead of condemning that person we send them love? How different would the world be?!

It’s easy to send love to a 5-year old boy who is presumably innocent and loving. It’s far more challenging to send love to people we feel have somehow “wronged” us or the world.

But instead of reacting to the “horrible” with more horrible, like hatred, vengeance, or condemnation – all faces of fear – what if we connected with the part of us that is loving and compassionate, and act from that place?

There are many ways we can do this: through a heartfelt smile, hug, complement, or card; by helping someone, through being honest, or sharing random acts of kindness. Even posting a positive “status update” on Facebook can have a lasting and loving impact…and it doesn’t cost anything, but a few seconds of time.

I imagine we all want “world peace.” We may have different ideas of how to get there, but if we learn from Noah and his family’s request to send love in the form of a card, and we start to send a little more love every day, I imagine we can make a global shift toward what we all dream of having: a loving world where people celebrate each other and life on a regular basis, not just in times of crisis.

What do you think? Is it time to make this global shift? I don’t think we can wait much longer.

Maybe together we can grow somewhere even greater!

Here’s Noah’s story:

Five year-old Noah Biorkman is in hospice and we need your help to make this the best Christmas ever by sending him Christmas cards! His family will be celebrating Christmas this weekend.

Noah was diagnosed with neuroblastoma in 2007, when he was 3 years old. He went into remission, but then relapsed in September 2008. His family is not expecting him to make it to Christmas Day.

http://www.clickondetroit.com/video/21525126/index.html

Please help fulfill the Biorkman family’s wish to make this the best Christmas ever for Noah. Send a Christmas card to:

For the skeptical, check out Snopes: http://tinyurl.com/yb5bhmh

P.S. Note the date of this post: November 9, 2009. Most of this was made public, from what I can tell, last week.