So imagine my delight when I stumbled upon Talbots. I tried on a pair of their pants and they fit perfectly. No gap. No bulk. Just clean lines and a sleek look.

That was in 2008. A few weeks ago, though, I ventured into Talbots and tried on several new styles. This time the hips were snug but the waists were about 3 or 4 inches too big (and I’m the same exact size I was in 2008).

What happened?

Apparently, Talbots got some complaints saying their pant waistlines were too narrow so they decided to make them bigger.

Bummer.

I wonder how many customers Talbots alienated with this decision.

How to successfully address customer (client) complaints

Whether you sell clothing like Talbots, or consulting services like I do, you’re bound to get criticism and feedback from your clients. What you do about it can make or break your business.

Last week I talked about the importance of addressing criticism quickly and gracefully. The trick, however, is to know what action to take to remedy the situation.

Dissatisfied customers (especially women) complain. Some become very vocal, writing letters or emails to let service providers know exactly how they feel and what they need to make things better.

Satisfied customers, on the other hand, send general compliments that aren’t as specific.

The result is that service providers can receive lopsided feedback.

For instance, if you have 100 customers and 10 don’t like your product but 90 do, you have a successful service or product.

However, if all 10 unsatisfied customers complain, but only 3 satisfied customers give thanks, you get an unclear picture of what’s really going on.

So imagine you’re Talbots with 90 satisfied customers and 10 who think your pant waistlines are too small. If you change your pant design to appease these 10 women you suddenly have 90 unsatisfied customers. (Just to be clear, I have no idea what the actual situation was with Talbots.)

What to do?

Don’t react. Respond.

All complaints and feedback need to be acknowledged. Sometimes a simple, “we hear you” will suffice.

But if you constantly react to complaints, changing your service or product to appease vocal people’s opinion, you may end up with more dissatisfied customers than satisfied ones.

In other words, if one person says, “I don’t like how you do this” that doesn’t mean it isn’t working for everyone else. You need more information to determine the bigger picture.  But how do you find the information you need?

You can conduct a survey and ask for feedback

Ask your former and current clients whether or not your services are helping them fulfill their needs.

Send a survey using Survey Monkey.

Look at the numbers

How many clients do you have? Do you have more or fewer clients than you did a year ago?

How much income are you generating? More or less than last year?

How much traffic does your website generate? Does it convert readers to clients?

Each piece of information informs the big picture. Get clear about what’s working and what isn’t, then create a plan of action to respond thoughtfully.

Weigh criticism carefully

Feedback can be invaluable, offering information you can use to create new services or product.

If you receive the same feedback from three different people chances are good people feel similarly. If the feedback is congruent with your goals, consider creating a new product or service that addresses their concerns.

Note: you may not need to change your current offer, especially if it’s successful. Adding a new one may solve the problem.

For instance, Nordstrom’s offers in-house tailoring. If your pants don’t fit off the shelf Nordstrom’s will alter them to fit your body-type. Problem solved.

Don’t try to appeal to everyone

Talbots can’t be all things to all people. Neither can you. If you try to be all things to all people you’ll quickly burn out. Instead, know who you want to serve and do everything you can to be a great service provider for those people.

It’s helpful to have a thorough understanding of what you offer and why. Then if someone has a complaint or criticism that doesn’t fit your goals you can gently let your critic know that your offer won’t meet their needs. In situations like this it’s useful to have a referral on hand. If you can point them in the direction of someone who can help them, your critic is likely to respect you and be grateful for your honesty and help. They may even refer other people to you in the future.

For example, Talbots might find it useful to send small-waisted customers to Nordstroms. It’s better to help people find satisfaction than to have dissatisfied customers who constantly complain about your work.

Summary

If people complain about your service or product:

1)      Respond quickly and thoughtfully.

2)      Determine if your current service or product is working for other people. If it is, leave it as is. If it isn’t, change it.

3)      Consider creating a new product or service to help the unsatisfied clients.

4)      Don’t try to appeal to everyone.

If you follow these simple steps when dealing with criticism your current customers will feel heard and respected and they’re likely to appreciate what you have to offer, even if it doesn’t fulfill their needs.

Although we couldn’t hear all of the details, my mom, step-dad and I got wide eyed and really quiet as we wondered who they were and what they were talking about. As the conversation became more colorful, we became more curious.

While it’s true that my grandfather is quite a character, most of what we heard was completely untrue.

Anyway, I wanted to get up and say something but I didn’t know what to say.

Instead, my 6’2″ dad got up, walked over to the table and said, “Hi. Small world. I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. I’m the son-in-law of the man you’re talking about and this is his daughter and granddaughter…And, everything you’re saying is completely untrue.”

I wish you could have seen the looks on their faces. But I digress…

So, my dad continued the conversation in a cordial tone. After a few minutes of clearing the air he said, “Oh, in a few weeks I’m having a book signing for my new book “Still Standing.” It’s about the remarkable healing journey of a soldier who lost his legs in Iraq. You’re welcome to come to the book signing if you’d like.”

I must say I was pretty proud of my step-dad. It takes guts to confront a situation like that.

Besides, he’d given me great material for my ezine. Here’s what made an impression on me:

Success Can Draw Criticism

It’s unfortunate, but true, that the more public (and successful) you become in your work the more likely you are to attract criticism and judgment, as well as the false accusations of jealous competitors or people who simply don’t like you.

So I shouldn’t have been too surprised when I heard someone criticizing my grandfather. He was a shrewd and well known businessman, and even though he was a character, he believed in excellence and his business succeeded as a result. Sometimes he drew criticism and judgments because of it.

But he’s not alone. Presidents Bush and Obama experience this. Deepak Chopra experiences this. Oprah experiences this.

And you might experience this too if you become (or are) a public figure. It’s a scary possibility, but the good news is that when you handle the circumstances with grace you may be able to balance out or neutralize what’s being said about you.

The Best Way to Handle Criticism

My step-dad could have gone over to the table behind me and yelled, “You have no idea what you’re talking about, you idiot!” But instead he was friendly and honest. He simply introduced himself to let the guy know he was a bit misinformed.

In other words, my step-dad didn’t ignore the situation and hope it went away. He confronted it head on, but he didn’t belittle the man or react in an unpleasant way. This method of confrontation spoke volumes about his character.

Criticism and judgments can get out of hand, quickly. Left unaddressed they can turn into rumors that build momentum and take on a life of their own.

Sometimes it’s important to address criticisms right away. If negative rumors start to spread about you or your work they can ruin your reputation and your ability to attract clients.

Of course, the way you address criticism says a lot about your character. If you handle the situation quickly and gracefully you’re more likely to turn a potentially damaging situation into a helpful situation, one that lets the world know you’re a smart service provider who cares about your work.

Shameless Self-Promotion

The most surprising part of the evening was when my step-dad invited the guy to his book signing party. Strangely, the invitation naturally flowed in the conversation.

Many of us could learn a thing or two from my step-dad. I call his marketing style “shameless self-promotion” because I sense he isn’t self-conscious about sharing about his new book, and it shows. Since I’ve been in Minnesota he’s secured several radio, TV and newspaper interviews.

How did he do it?

He tells every single person he comes into contact with about his book.

He’s done a few public speaking gigs and will do more, all focusing on the book.

He has a Facebook page and has posted videos and links to the interviews.

Essentially, he’s raised a lot of buzz and expectation about the book, and it’s working.

So those are three important things I noticed during that unusual evening. To summarize:

1. Criticism Happens

2. Handling it with grace is important

3. Practicing shameless self-promotion might just help you grow somewhere greater!

Until we meet again, here’s to growing somewhere great!

Give People a Taste & They’re Likely to Want More.

Years ago, during a visit to New Mexico, a friend and I decided to take a day trip to an old mission church north of Taos. After touring the sacred site, my friend and I proceeded to walk past a dusty outdoor stand where a local man was selling dried chili peppers.

“Come over here.” said the man, motioning to us with his arms.

My friend, a light-hearted adventurer, never turned down an invitation. He immediately veered over to the left and headed toward the man.

I, on the other hand, knew the guy was going to try and sell us something and I wasn’t in the mood for a sales pitch. I followed my friend anyway and reluctantly approached the stand.

“Hi!” he said. “You have to try my chili peppers. Here. It’s better to eat it with pistachios ’cause it helps you get the full flavor of the spice.”

The guy handed us a few pistachios and then proceeded to use the pistachio shell to scoop up a tiny amount of red pepper flakes. He put the crushed pepper in his hand and demonstrated how to eat it by popping a few pistachios into his mouth along with the tiny red flakes.

My friend and I followed suit and sure enough, the chilies had a lovely flavor.

“Ok,” said the local man. “Now, that’s number one. Remember what number one tastes like. Now, you have to try number two.” He dipped a pistachio shell into bowl number two and repeated the tasting.

“Good, isn’t it.” It was a statement not a question. “It’s a bit spicier than number 1. OK. Do you remember number 1 and number 2?.”

“Yes,” we said.

“Now try 3.”

Again, the pistachio shell dipped into the flakes and extracted a tiny amount of red chili pepper. The three of us tried number 3 and agreed it was very good.

“Now what do you think? Which one do you like best?” The local asked.

All three of them tasted the same to me. My friend said he liked two best, but I suspected they all tasted the same to him too.

I liked this chili pepper man. His enthusiasm was catching. His friendliness was warm. And even though I knew he was giving us a sales pitch, I couldn’t help but want to buy his chili peppers.

But my friend beat me to it. “I’ll take a bag of number two,” he said.

The guy wrapped up a bag of number two and said, “Well, you’ll need some pistachios to go with it. They’re only $5 a bag.”

Of course we bought a bag of pistachios, too.

That chili pepper guy was a genius salesman.

Why? For many reasons, of which I’ll share three.

Invite People to Join You

We walked by the local man’s stand and saw his bright red chilies, but we wouldn’t have stopped if the guy hadn’t invited us.

Of course, the guy saw tourists all day so if we had said “no thanks” he would have simply approached the next couple who crossed his path.

But we didn’t say no. Instead, we walked to the stand and listed to the entire schpeel because it was engaging and entertaining.

Have Strangers Over for Dinner (aka give a free sample)

OK, it wasn’t really dinner, but we did eat. We shared a small meal with this man. He gave us something that proved the value of his product.

People are more likely to engage in your services if you give them something of value before they sign up. If they can experience you, your service or product firsthand, and they like what they receive, they will trust the value of your service or product. When this happens they’re more likely to buy from you. People buy from people they like.

A freebie can be an ezine that offers valuable advice or an ebook download with useful information. It can be a free 30-minute session or a free class at your local library.

Regardless, when you can offer a free sample people are more likely to immediately recognize whether or not they like you and your service. If they find value in what you do they will buy or return later for more information.

Have Three Options

Three is the magic number. Goldilocks had three options: too small, too big and just right.

The local chili pepper man had three options for the same reason.

Why?

If you have 3 options for people, like 3 levels of service packages, you give your prospective clients a choice that helps them find that “just right” fit.

Summary

The chili pepper man was a great sales man for many reasons. I could go on and on about what he did right.

But if you keep in mind the three points in this essay you connect more easily with prospective clients:

1. Invite people to join you (let them know about what you’re doing)

2. Give them something of value (freebies)

3. Have three options

What can you do to add or enhance these three steps in your work?

I’d intended to use my flight time to write about the difficulties introverts have in promoting their work, and I thought I could write about this on the plane. But Jonathan was a funny and engaing guy, so I decided to talk with him instead. Turned out to be a good choice.

After we introduced ourselves he asked me what my name meant. I said it meant “beloved.” He said his name, Jonathan, meant God’s gift. I said, “My middle name, Elizabeth, means Oath of God or God’s promise.” He said his last name was Harte pronounced Heart.

I was starting to see a pattern.

I said, “Do you feel like there is destiny written in your name?”

Admittedly, I was a bit surprised when Jonathan answered my question with, “Absolutely.” Turns out he’s a deeply spiritual man and a massage therapist who is studying healing work.

Right up my alley.

He asked me what I do for work and I told him I help women grow their lifework and that most of them are massage therapists, healers, counselors, spiritual guides etc.

He said, “Do you ever work with men?” To which I replied, “Yes, I have some male clients, but most of them are women.”

Do you see where I’m going with this?

It was a natural conversation. I wasn’t trying to promote my work. Instead, I was simply connecting with Jonathan, and in doing so I discovered a man who does work that is completely in alignment with my area of expertise.

Networking for Introverts isn’t Networking, It’s Connecting

Networking can feel like a daunting task for the introvert, but it’s still an important part of growing your practice or small business. Fortunately, that doesn’t mean you have to go to networking events.

You probably know that 1) being visible and 2) engaging in one-on-one conversations can help you grow your practice or small business.

But if you’re like a lot of people, you may get stuck when trying to figure out where to be visible and how to strike up a great conversation.

So if you’re one of these people, here are some ideas for you:

Most important: know how to talk about what you do and be able to do it conversationally and naturally.

If you’ve been reading my ezine for awhile you’ve heard me talk about this before: know how to talk about what you do. It’s essential.

If you don’t know how to talk about what you do it’s a good idea to practice. You can do this when you’re by yourself or with friends.

It’s also important to find words you feel comfortable saying to people you don’t know.

For example, if you’re a “psychic”, but feel uncomfortable using the word because you know people will react critically to what you say, you might say something like, “I help people see their life in a different way so they can make informed choices.” If the person you’re talking to is interested in what you have to say you can give them more information and test the waters before you drop the big “P” word on them.

Do what you love to do and talk to people

One of my current clients and colleagues, Elizabeth, swims on a regular basis at her community pool and often has opportunities to talk about her work. She’s an introvert, yet because she’s been working with me and the women in my marketing class she has clarity about what she’s doing and she can talk about her work with relative ease.

Also, since part of what Elizabeth does is help women feel comfortable in their bodies, talking about her work at a community pool is completely natural. She doesn’t actively try to promote herself, but because she talks about her work with the intention of simply sharing, people are naturally drawn to her and want to learn more.

Elizabeth wouldn’t attract the attention of potential clients if she stayed at home all day long wondering how to grow her business. Instead, she participates in activities that bring her joy and when the opportunity arises she talks with people one-on-one, introvert style.

Hang out where your potential clients hang out

If you’re a massage therapist, healer, acupuncturist, etc. get a membership at your local gym or take a yoga class to meet people. You can exercise and share about your work at the same time. The right people will want to learn more.

If you’re a spiritual counselor, go to where spiritual people hang out: bookstores, yoga studios, meditation centers, spiritual communities. Participate and meet people one-on-one. It may take awhile if you’re shy as well as introverted, but that’s ok.

Teach a free and valuable one hour class at your local church or synagogue, etc. Many spiritual centers offer classes for their congregations and communities and are eager to have people help grow their communities.

Some local libraries also have a place for people to teach classes.

Tell everyone you know what you’re doing

Whether you have a formal ezine like I do or a group of friends who would love to receive an email from you, make sure you tell everyone you know what you’re doing. Ask for referral and ask your friends and family to spread the word about your work.

The thing for introverts to remember is that networking for you is not networking. It’s connecting, and it’s usually something that has to happen one-on-one, not in large groups. Find comfortable (or semi-comfortable) ways to connect. Stretch yourself to grow where you’ve never grown before, and pretty soon you’ll be well on your way to attracting clients you love.

In case you’re curious about my new friend Jonathan, he hasn’t asked me to make an appointment for a website or marketing consultation, but I was able to recommend a great school for him to check out, and I made a new friend.

Not every networking connecting interaction has to result in a sale, but if you don’t tell people about what you do, you’re likely to never have any.

So be visible. Do things you enjoy doing and go where your ideal client might hang out. Offer free classes to spread the word about what you’re doing and then grow somewhere great!

Throughout this process my clients are often faced with a choice of whether or not to turn a past struggle into a lifework focus, like Susan Komen’s sister turned Susan’s struggle with breast cancer into “The Race for the Cure.” This race raises money for research and helps millions of people through the challenges of facing breast cancer.

Some of my clients opt not to take this path, preferring instead to leave their struggles behind and venture off into new territory.

Many find the idea intriguing, though. They recognize the value in helping people through a similar journey to one they’ve already made. They can see themselves as a guide, a helping hand, with some wisdom and a lot of invaluable experience, all of which may help people navigate the rough terrain of their similar journey.

For these people the idea of turning a past struggle into a lifework focus seems exciting, at least initially. It’s as though one of their life purposes has been illuminated, helping make sense of their fears and frustrations. They feel invigorated by possibility.

But almost immediately fear arises. The first question to appear is usually “Who am I to do this work? I’m not an expert.”

The second is often “I’m not ready. I need one more certificate so people take me seriously.”

This type of fear is common. It often means the person is headed in the right direction. It’s also a sign that they are facing a growing edge.

As an aside, a feeling of indifference is perhaps a sign that a person is not moving in the right direction.

Fortunately, with courage and commitment, turning past struggles into meaningful lifework can be a rewarding process.

To help illustrate my point, here are some examples of what a few of my clients are developing right now:

• One woman has successfully overcome cancer, chronic pain and several addictions, and uses bodywork, movement and spiritual guidance to help women with similar problems find deep healing on many levels.

• A spiritual guide and mother is raising a child with Aspergers and part of her work involves helping other families find their way through the challenges and opportunities that come with learning differences. Her work is unique because she is both a teacher and a spiritual guide. She can address both aspects of the challenges people face and help them engage their situation holistically.

• Another woman discovered a significant lack of support when she was grieving the loss of a loved animal companion. As a result, she has opened her heart and spiritual guidance practice to people who are struggling with the loss of a dearly loved pet. She also helps people resolve animal related behavior problems and challenges. No longer do people have to suffer in silence over the loss of their loved animal friends.

This is just a small example of the incredible work being developed by my clients. I am so proud of these women and the many others in my programs who are taking small and huge steps in turning their struggles into lifework that has depth and value. I can hardly wait to introduce them to you after their websites are done and ready for public viewing!

But that is a topic for another ezine.

In the meantime, I have included a few questions you can explore for your own work

If you are just starting out

If you are currently in the process of trying to define a lifework path, think about any adversities you’ve overcome.

Do other people struggle with the same or a similar challenge?

Is there a way to use your experience to help other people?

How can you combine that experience with your gifts, skills and other interests to create meaningful lifework?

If you are a veteran in your field

If you have been in business for awhile and need new direction with your lifework or want to add a product or service that helps more people, think about difficulties you or your clients have overcome.

Have you noticed any common themes emerging?

How you might create a service or course that addresses that issue?

People don’t have to struggle alone

There are a lot of people out there who feel like they are alone. They may be experiencing the same or a similar challenge to one you experienced, and they could really use a mentor or guide or teacher or healer to help them through the process.