Attracting Clients: The Art of Listening

Last week I wrote about 3 big mistakes self promoters make and how to fix them. Today I’m elaborating on the art of listening.

If you are a coach, counselor or guide of any kind you’ve hopefully been trained in this area. Put these skills to good use. It may seem like an oxymoron, but listening is essential when it comes to self-promotion.

Start by learning as much as you can about the other person or people.

Whether you’re teaching, writing website content or connecting at a networking event, it’s a good idea to not talk or write exclusively about yourself or your work.

For instance, many service providers have websites that talk about the technical element of their craft, using cerebral jargon their prospective clients may not even understand.

Or they say things like, “It is my passion to work in spiritual counseling.” But they don’t really elaborate on how exactly they help their clients transform their lives.

Big mistake.

In fact, when you talk exclusively about yourself, the other person is unlikely to buy whatever it is you have to offer.

• They will not “buy” what you are teaching because they won’t be able to anchor your lesson into their life experience.
• They will not buy your service or product because they won’t see how it is of use to them.
• They will not buy into your value as a service provider because people who talk about themselves seem self-absorbed and uninterested in anything but their own story.

Instead, ask other people about their lives and experience. (And have a genuine interested in hearing their story.)

When you do this you are more easily able to set the groundwork for heartfelt connection and effective self-promotion (these skills can equally be applied to teaching), and this builds trust which is essential to attracting clients.

When You’re Having a Direct Conversation

When you speak with people on the phone, in Facebook, or through email you can ask questions fairly easily. You can also tailor your questions so they fit each conversation. This is useful.

Remember to ask clarifying questions and not make assumptions.

Take notes, either mentally or on paper, so you can reflect back to the person what you heard. This will help them feel seen and understood which goes a long way toward building trust (which in turn helps with selling services.)

When You’re Having an Indirect Conversation

When you write for promotional pieces like a website the best way to ask questions and listen to your prospective or current clients is to create a survey, then tailor your content accordingly.

You might also read online forums that are relevant to your work and see what people are talking about.

Take notes so you can use examples later.

When you listen carefully you can gather pertinent information that will inform your verbal and written conversations:

• You get a clearer picture of your prospective and current clients’ needs and desires.
• You can reflect back to them what you’ve heard so they feel seen and heard. This builds trust.
• You will know how to best direct your conversation.
• You can use their story to illustrate your point.
• You can find examples of similar clients who overcame similar problems and use them as examples.

If you listen and reflect back what you hear, people will

• trust you more easily
• identify what’s in it for them
• recognize the value of your service

And when people experience these things they’re more likely to appreciate you and buy your services. They’re also more likely to refer your services to other people.

How good are you at listening and tailoring your conversations to the needs of prospective clients? If you don’t know, practice with a friend. Do some role playing and evaluate each other with kindness and compassion, making suggestions to help each other grow.